


"Don't Worry...It Can't Get Any Worse"

by Major_Platypus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano is a Little Shit, Ahsoka Tano is the Little Sister of the group, Banter, Disaster Trio, Dorks, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Happy Anakin Skywalker, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Master and Apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is Tired, Other, Podracing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Major_Platypus/pseuds/Major_Platypus
Summary: Set during the Clone Wars, the disaster trio Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka set out on a mission where there's more than meets the eye. Sounds like a usual mission.It's a fluffy mission with plenty of banter and stuff that makes me laugh.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 13
Kudos: 136





	1. Prologue: In Which Mace Windu's Plans are Ruined

“Meeting adjourned. May the Force be with you.”

Jedi Master Mace Windu concluded the meeting and the few remaining Jedi surrounding the holotable ventured back into the Jedi Temple. There were so few Jedi at these meetings anymore. They were either halfway across the galaxy or dead.

  
Windu wiped his tired eyes, hoping for a small reprieve meditating in the Temple gardens. He turned to leave, already feeling the warm sunshine on his face and smelling the sweet flowers, when he heard the soft (yet urgent) chimes of the holotable. So much for a reprieve.

  
Windu sighed, turning around towards the holotable once more. He accepted the incoming transmission, presumably a straggler with a mission update.

  
The three figures that appeared before him surprised him in two regards. First, he hadn’t heard from them since he sent them on assignment. Second, they looked worse for wear. The oldest one, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, was sporting a massive black eye. He wore what looked like the ragged remains of a floral print shirt over his tunic and didn’t seem to notice that part of his tunic was smoking. The little Togruta Padawan named Ahsoka Tano stood in the middle and tried to stand tall, despite having an arm sling.

  
And of course, the final figure on the far right, the thorn in Windu’s side for nearly 12 years: Anakin Skywalker. The Chosen One. The troublemaker. Goggles were pushed up on his head, slightly mussing his hair. His face was completely covered in soot, except for the pale rings around his guilty eyes.

  
He’d sent these three on an easy diplomatic mission. It was supposed to take 2, 3 days at the most. It had been almost a week with no status update. What the hell could they have done? Windu took a deep breath. It couldn’t be that bad. “Here to deliver a status report?”

  
As Skywalker shuffled forward, Windu noticed a slight limp. “No Master,” he replied. “We may or may not have helped the locals start an uprising on the planet.”

  
“YOU DID WHAT?”


	2. Five Days Earlier...

Ahsoka was finding it very difficult to concentrate on her saber form when her Master and Grand-Master were arguing for the 12th time today. She’d begun to mentally tally who was winning. So far it was a tie.

“I’m just saying Obi-Wan, we haven’t gotten a break in 4 months! The least we could have is like a week off-”

“We do get time off.”

“A four hour nap on the ship on the way to another battle is not rest; neither is coming home and immediately turning around for another assignment. Besides, the Five Sabers Tournament is in a few days and I want to catch the pod racing on the holos before I’m sent off to Force knows where!”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and rubbing his forehead. He didn’t want to admit it, but taking a break would be ideal. A two day reprieve wasn’t nearly enough time. He felt exhausted and could see Anakin and Ahsoka were feeling the same way. Turning away from the argument (which he was definitely winning by the way), he shifted focus on Ahsoka’s form. “Elbows higher, Padawan!”

Ahsoka nodded and adjusted her stance, finishing her exercise, slicing the last practice dummy. She leapt forward, training sabers arcing around her as she moved and stuck the landing perfectly. “Any suggestions for me, Skyguy?”

“Be mindful of your surroundings when the time comes, Padawan. And your elbows were fine,” Anakin replied, glancing back at Obi-Wan with a smug smile. Obi-Wan promptly responded with an eyeroll. Leave it to him to try to get the last word in this fight.

 _It looks like Anakin Skywalker takes another point_ , Ahsoka thought with a small smile.

_____________

The soft chime of his communicuff brought Anakin out of the pod racing reverie/nap that he was attempting to pass off as meditation. Squinting, he opened the message. “Skywalker here.”

The voice of Mace Windu filled the circular room, bouncing off everything. “The Jedi Council requests your presence immediately. Don’t be late this time.”

Anakin opened his eyes and rolled his eyes as he rose from his meditation cushion and opened the blinds to reveal the illuminated Coruscant skyline He’d lived in the Jedi Temple for nearly 15 years and still forgot how bright Coruscant could be at night.

However, the night sky brought more worry than comfort. What was the Jedi Council doing requesting his presence now? He didn’t sense anything amiss (anything more so than the usual chaos of the war). His two day reprieve wasn’t up yet. He had things he wanted to do. Visiting Padmé and cleaning Artoo would have to wait. The Council was waiting.

___________

Anakin wasn’t late this time, but everyone else decided to show up early. He was pleasantly surprised to see he wasn’t going to be alone in the center of the room this time. Ahsoka already stood in front waiting. She looked calm, but after a year of fighting on the front lines with her he noticed her jaw clenched ever so slightly: her nervous tic. He was glad he wasn’t alone in his nerves.

As he made his way to the center of the chamber, he couldn’t help but notice that half of the seats were empty. Obi-Wan was dozing in his seat. The hand that propped up his head was dangerously close to slipping. Master Windu, Master Plo, and Master Mundi were discussing potential strategies for the crisis on Ryloth. Master Windu noticed the two Jedi in the center of the room and began the meeting.

“Sorry to call you both here at such a late hour, but our meeting with Master Yoda went longer than anticipated, and then there was an emergency matter on Kamino with the clones,” he said, “We have an assignment for you.”

 _And there it is_ , thought Anakin.

“Look Master- I appreciate you thinking of us for this assignment, but we just got back from our last one and we’re on fumes. We need a break.”

 _Here we go again_ , thought Ahsoka.

It was always a fight between Anakin and the Council. There was no need to make a mental scoreboard here. The Council always won.

“Skywalker, we’re stretched thin as it is. You’re going to take this assignment and you will take it gladly. Now, there’s some political unrest on Theron.” Ignoring Anakin’s glare, he continued, “Local insurgents are looking to take over the government during the Five Sabers tournament. However, they are willing to negotiate and arrange peace. Your job is to help broker the agreement between the government and the locals and come back home.” At the mention of the Five Sabers tournament, Windu sensed a slight increase of excitement in Anakin (and to a lesser extent Ahsoka). “This is a serious diplomatic mission. No distractions. Do your job and leave. Am I clear?”

Anakin winked at Ahsoka and replied, “Yeah, me and Snips can get through this no problem, right?”

Ahsoka returned his gaze and smiled, “Right, Master Skywalker. It’ll be easy.”

Windu looked at the Jedi with slight concern and said, “You will leave in a few hours. The tournament begins in the morning on Theron.” The pair nodded at Windu and the other masters and turned to leave when Windu called them back. “Just a moment you two. Wherever you two go, chaos surely follows. I’d like to send a Jedi Master to keep an eye on you two. Master Kenobi, you’re to go with them. Kenobi? Obi-Wan?”

Everyone stopped to turn towards Kenobi, who was now gently snoring. His hand was ever so close to slipping, so Anakin did everyone a favor and used the Force to give his hand a little nudge.

Obi-Wan’s arm moved down, causing the Master’s head to whip upright and alert. Anakin and Ahsoka tried not to laugh at their friend as he bolted awake, beard slightly mussed with a large pink mark where his hand previously was. And...was that a little drool Anakin spied?

 _Didn’t need a break my ass_ , Anakin thought with a smirk, _Obi-Wan will never live this down_.

Mace Windu immediately regretted his decision, but he was not about to change his mind, lest Skywalker throw it in his face later. Besides, there were barely enough Jedi in the Temple as it was. He faced the drowsy Master. “Master Kenobi, you will be accompanying Jedi Knight Skywalker and Padawan Tano on their assignment to Theron to avoid them getting into trouble.”

“Yes sir, I’ll try my best. Anakin Skywalker always manages to get into trouble” Obi-Wan said, utterly embarrassed. He didn’t know what just happened, but he did know one thing. Anakin was never going to let this go.

_________________

Two hours later, the three Jedi were preparing their ship for Theron in the Temple hangar. As Anakin was making last minute checks on the ship, Ahsoka grabbed her pack and watched Obi-Wan fiddle with a datapad. Even leagues away from the battle, he was still making plans and deep in the fight.

“At least this will be an easy mission, Master Kenobi”, Ahsoka said.

“I certainly hope so, my young Padawan,” he replied, sliding the datapad into his pack. “But Anakin’s right. We need a break. Our exhaustion clouds our abilities. Be mindful of your surroundings. We don’t know what we’ll come across.”

“Don’t worry about me Master,” Ahsoka said. “I’m ready for anything.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Obi-Wan muttered as he went to Anakin, who was doing some muttering of his own while fiddling with a stray wire on the ship’s hull.

“Didn't get to even see Padmé, I’m going to literally be at the Five Sabers tournament but I can’t-” Anakin sensed Obi-Wan’s presence above him and stopped. After being with Obi-Wan for so long, the Force connected the pair so tightly that they were able to sense each other without a single word. But Obi-Wan would never understand his secret marriage to Padmé. Each exchanging a curt nod, the master and apprentice joined Ahsoka on the ramp.

Just as they were about to board, Captain Rex of the 501st and Commander Cody of the 212th approached. They were supposed to be on a well-earned reprieve for their service. They fought at the same battle as the beleaguered Jedi, but they got a break? Anakin thought it was a little bit rude, but still found himself smiling at the familiar blue-armored figure coming towards him.

“You sure you don’t need a clone or two on this mission sir?”, Rex asked. Even when he was supposed to be off, the captain stood at attention. “Because I know two clones who would be glad to come.”

“Thank you Rex, but I think we’re good. This is supposed to be an easy diplomatic mission. Don’t do anything stupid while we’re gone ok?”

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”, Rex replied. He had been spending too much time with Anakin and Ahsoka and had inherited their trademark snark.

Ahsoka laughed, “We’ll see you soon Rex.”

The trio entered the ship and took off.

Rex and Cody watched their ship until it became a small dot on the skyline. “I bet you 200 Republic credits the three of them will nearly cause a galactic incident.”, said Rex.

“You’re on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know how you're liking it with a kudos or a comment!


	3. The Disaster Lineage Sure Likes to Make a Dramatic Entrance, Don't They?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm great at naming droids.

Obi-Wan traveled to so many planets during his career as a Jedi and a General in the Clone Wars, he felt like he was immune to a planet’s beauty. Theron proved him wrong. As the small ship descended into the planet’s atmosphere and into a rainy day, they passed the spiral formations that were famous to the planet. The formations, not large enough at the base to qualify as a mountain, were a light gray, speckled with dark rock and layered with years of age and wear. They snaked around and connected with each other, beautiful to observe, but dangerous to fly in. The water beat at them and fell from it in elegant arcs. It was beautiful.

Or it would be beautiful if Obi-Wan wasn’t in fear for his life (again). Anakin was piloting like a madman. Another sharp turn by master-pilot extraordinaire Anakin Skywalker launched Ahsoka into his shoulder, prompting his own body to crash into the side panel. That boy really was trying to kill him wasn’t he?

Through the sheet of rain, he was able to spot the twinkling lights of the capital city of Katinaa. He observed swatches of brilliant red tucked within the city. The city looked like it was bleeding. It was elegant and formidable as a fortress.

 _What a friendly looking place_ , Anakin thought as he toggled the landing gear.

“Anakin ease up! Ahsoka, buckle your seatbelt, it seems we’re due for another rough landing.”

“Another?” Anakin laughed. “You need to relax Obi-Wan. Stop being a backseat driver. I got this.” He swerved in the other direction, his master now crashing into his shoulder. He glanced at Obi-Wan, who was looking a little green. “You know, it would be easier if I could actually see. This rain is making it especially hard to land.” He could barely make out the landing pad, now surrounded by bright red banners to indicate the upcoming tournament.

Gritting his teeth and appealing to the Force, he made his final descent, initiating the landing gear and with a soft thud, done.

“See? Perfect landing. As usual.”

“Eh. I’d give it a 5/10,” Ahsoka quipped, ignoring Anakin’s glare as she peered out at the landing pad from between the pilot and co-pilot seats. Aside from a few abandoned crates, a landspeeder, and a lone droid, no one was there to greet them. So much for a warm greeting from the Theronian government. She sensed unease in the Force. Something was going to happen, and she was ready.

By the time the trio walked onto the landing platform, the rain had let up, bringing Theorn’s warm trademark sun back. Now that they were closer, they could see the lone droid was a protocol droid. As it shuffled toward them, Anakin was reminded of his hours on Tatooine carefully building Threepio and his pride when Threepio did his first tentative shuffles in his room.

“Greetings Jedi, and welcome to Theron and the capital of Katinaa,” it said flatly. “ I am T-5PO. Governor Rankin apologizes for not meeting you in person. Urgent tournament meetings have come up. He will meet with you at dinner later this evening. I will show you to your quarters.”

Anakin released a groan unfitting a diplomatic Knight. “We rush out all this way to help and we now have to wait?”

Obi-Wan elbowed his former Padawan hard, causing Anakin to cough and Ahsoka to cover her smile. He nodded towards the droid. “I understand. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“This way please.” The droid shuffled towards a landspeeder, waiting for the Jedi to grab their things and follow.

______________

After the droid drove the Jedi through a complicated maze of streets and rock formations. In no time at all, they arrived at an impressive blue and grey building. It was shaped like the rocks around the town and appeared to twist in impossible directions. Grand windows made the building appear to shine. The cool colors of the government building were broken by the brilliant red banners that surrounded the rest of this city. Against the cool backdrop of the rest of the city, the banners looked like blood.

The Jedi basked in the crown jewel of Theron’s capital. Combined, the trio had stayed in their fair share of consulates, huts, palaces, and cruisers. So many places began to blur together, but this building would stick in their memories for a long time.

“Welcome to the Grand Mansion of Theron. You will be staying here for the next few days,” explained T-5PO.

The Jedi were quickly escorted through a dizzying maze of maroon hallways until they finally arrived at their quarters. Ahsoka was surprised for the second time that day. Two separate bedrooms were connected by one main suite which was comfortably furnished in shades of white and blue.

“I call my own room!” Ahsoka screamed, running towards the room on the left. She tried not to repress a squeal of joy when she saw the bed. After months of sleeping on Republic cruisers' cold, hard cots, the mere sight of the fluffy bed was enough to make Ahsoka cry. She dropped her pack and jumped onto the bed, landing on her back with her arms out. She sighed as she sunk into it. “Maybe this mission won’t be so bad after all.” Anakin and Obi-Wan watched their Padawan sprint into the bedroom. Her cries of joy were infectious.

Anakin and Obi-Wan grinned at each other and decided to explore for themselves. They set their packs in their room and went into the suite.

A closer inspection showed that aside from a comfortable sitting area there was a balcony that showcased Theron’s natural beauty. Anakin went to admire the view when something else grabbed his attention. The purr of the engines. Could it be? Force it was! Their balcony was over the pod racing track for the tournament this week.

“Oh now this is a view!” Anakin cheered. “If I had a pod I’d-”

“No.”

Anakin turned towards the accented source, now sitting on the armchair and fiddling with his datapad. His face now tinged a slight shade of blue, Obi-Wan didn’t even bother to look up. He was too used to shutting Anakin’s crazy whims down.

 _Force, does this man know how to take a break?_ “Come on, Obi-Wan you know I’d beat this competition twice over.”

“I know you could. But as your designated impulse control I am going to tell you no.”, Obi-Wan replied, flipping through incoming Council reports. Something on the datapad must have concerned him, because he left the conversation. His mind was far off.

Anakin decided to leave the workaholic Master and went to check on Ahsoka. Perhaps she would be more interested in what was going on outside. He cracked open the door to her room and found her asleep in the same position she fell from. She looked so much younger than 16. He gently laid a blanket onto her small body and silently left the room.

Well, what do you get when you have a distracted Master and a napping Padawan? A perfect time to sneak out and inspect those pods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Be sure to comment or kudos if you like it!


	4. Jedi Are Keepers of the Peace, Not Tourists

A loud whizzing sound woke Ahsoka from her sleep. She bolted upright in her bed. Scrambling out of the blankets, she leapt up and crouched in attack position, using the Force to summon her lightsabers. Her instincts were alight, scanning for any danger.

Her Master entered the room, looking surprisingly refreshed. The Force sparked off him in excitement. “Good morning Padawan! Isn’t it a great day? Hear the purr of the pod-racing engines, the sweet smell of the fuel? We may have special abilities, but that is the real magic out there!”

Ahsoka lowered her arms and leapt off the bed. Her eyes narrowed, annoyed she lost precious sleep over a stupid engine noise. “Sure. Real magical.”

She followed Anakin into the main seating area and saw her Grand-Master resting on the sofa. He looked considerably less refreshed, hair ruffled and bleary-eyed. Sensing her presence, Obi-Wan looked up at Ahsoka. “Engines outside wake you?”

“Yep. You too?”

“Actually it was a certain apprentice shaking me awake at dawn to watch a practice run. I don’t see the appeal of a pod going in circles, but-”

“If it has an engine and it moves fast, Anakin is all over it,” Ahsoka finished. They looked at each other and at Anakin (who had moved on from this conversation and was back at the balcony) with mild amusement. Nobody really understood Anakin's enthusiasm and recklessness like they did. For them, it was endearing. Most of the time.

Ahsoka flopped onto the seat opposite Obi-Wan and began to pour her own cup of tea. Warm sunlight filled in the space as they listened to Anakin ramble on about the engine mechanics. It surrounded him like a halo, making him look more like the Chosen One than ever.

Anakin realized he was talking too long about the thrusters. His heart longed to pilot the small pod. He missed the special kind of adrenaline rush that came from pod-racing. If all went well, Anakin would be able to relive the glory days. But first, he had to tighten his Force shields, lest Obi-Wan get even more suspicious. Besides, he had a job to do.

Tearing his eyes away from the waiting engines below, he sat down on the sofa next to Obi-Wan. He snatched the pad. “What are you looking at now? Something fun I hope,” he teased.

Obi-Wan gave Anakin a dirty look. “The governor mentioned the rebels have been raiding mining communities around the planet. This is the first I’ve heard of any uprising from this region in the Outer Rim. So I decided to dive into the planet’s news archives and look at footage myself. There’s something off surrounding the governor, but my usual distaste for most politicians may be clouding my judgement.”

“I feel it too, Master Kenobi,” Ahsoka chimed in. “The Force is cloudy here. And a lot of it surrounds the Governor. She makes me uneasy.”

“Yeah,” Anakin agreed, “She seemed oily to me.”

“That may be so, but we must give her the benefit of the doubt,” Obi-Wan replied. “Perhaps a little more investigation is needed. And we have plenty of time before the pod-race begins. Anyone up for a field trip?”

At the mention of a field trip, Anakin and Ahsoka perked up like two younglings. The pair loved to be on the move and explore as much as possible. The thought of exploring a new planet made them giddy.

_______________

Despite the early hour, the city of Katinata was bursting with energy. The Jedi stood in the capital square and took it all in. Citizens and tourists alike were bustling through the streets. Shopkeepers were pushing their carts to the best selling spots, full of odds and ends that they couldn’t see from their vantage point.

Now that the Jedi weren’t racing past the red banners, they were able to see that most of them were marked with a black insignia of a circle with five sabers resting across it. It was not only a symbol of the games, but a symbol of power. In addition to the insignia, other banners displayed pods and other ships in motion, promising the exciting races that lie ahead.

Anakin didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry at how beautiful they were. But laughing and/or possibly crying would have to wait. He had a job to do. A job that was most certainly not the mission he was assigned on Coruscant. But first he had to split from Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.

Anakin cleared his throat. “This is a large capital. There’s no way we will be able to do a thorough investigation if we’re all together. Why don’t we split up?”

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow as Ahsoka tried to interject, “Master Skywalker, I don’t really think-”

“Great! Let’s meet here in, say three hours?” Anakin ran off towards the pod racing track, all the while congratulating himself on a job well done.

“Did you buy that at all?” Ahsoka asked, looking at Obi-Wan. “I know I’m a bad liar, but he made me look like a champion sabacc player.”

Obi-Wan watched Anakin run off. “Not one bit. But I trust him to keep out of trouble and stay focused on the mission at hand.” He turned to look down at Ahsoka’s bright blue eyes, smiling. “Besides, it allows you and me to spend some time together.”

Ahsoka was excited. She enjoyed spending time with Obi-Wan, purely because he was everything Anakin wasn’t. Anakin taught her well on the battlefield. He was quick on his feet and an aggressive dueller. They both were able to egg each other on and push each other physically. Obi-Wan was different. A brilliant tactician, he was able to come up with clever plans and could disarm an enemy before they had the chance to engage their weapon. He asked Ahsoka to look at things from a certain point of view and would ask her to devise a plan. He was as quiet as Anakin was brash, and held patience when Anakin had none. Obi-Wan also had a wicked sense of humor when he thought no one was looking. Ahsoka loved learning the ways of the Jedi with him.

She followed Master Kenobi as he walked in the opposite direction of Anakin. It was also one of the busier areas of the capital, being the epicenter of the festivities and gambling. People and creatures of all shapes and sizes bustled to and fro as vendors attempted to grab their attention with promises of cheap prices and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. It was a lot for the senses. Ahsoka could feel the Force tremble with anticipation, but also with something she couldn’t quite pinpoint lying underneath.

Ahsoka couldn’t help but stop and marvel at each stall’s contents. A Rodian minded a stall full of exotically colored fish, while the human next door was embroidering one of many scarves she was selling. On closer inspection, Ahsoka noticed that the embroidery was of the pods, each with delicate threads that represented the dust. The craftsmanship was stunning. Other stalls had food items, spare parts, and one stall even proclaimed to sell lightsabers (they weren’t, but they looked pretty close).

Seeing Obi-Wan was a few feet ahead of her, she jogged to catch up. “So, what is the big deal with this Tournament?” she asked.

“From what Anakin told me at 4:00 this morning, it’s been happening for nearly 400 years. It’s a demonstration for the best pilots in the galaxy,” Obi-Wan replied. “Pilots are selected through a secretive invitation process and compete to win 500 million credits. The first few Tournaments were only composed of simple races around the rocks, but it quickly evolved to pod-racing, fighter pilot demonstrations, and more.”

Ahsoka nodded. “But how do they get the credits? Didn’t Rankin say that the planet was financially unstable?”

“In so many words, yes. I’m glad you were paying attention, Padawan. From what I can gather, which isn’t much, it’s taken from the legal gambling on the Tournament. Keeps the money in the same pool, without taking any funds from the government.”

They made their way through the marketplace and found themselves in a different part of town. While the area was still swathed in the red banners, it seemed more ominous than it was near the governor’s mansion. The area was considerably drabber and felt like it hadn’t had the same level of upkeep as the higher traffic areas. The stone formations were dull. A group of children played with a ball while an adult female was carrying a large basket of clothing for a wire nearby.

But there were two things that unsettled Ahsoka Tano. First were the children. Their faces were too gaunt, their feet muddy. They looked like they hadn’t had a meal in nearly a week. She saw the disparity of her comfy bed and her warm breakfast and the conditions of these children. Her heart broke for these children.

The second thing that unsettled Ahsoka even more was the feeling she got from the Force. She sensed something was wrong. It felt murky, and oily. She’d felt that way with the governor just last night. Governor Rankin said they had problems on Theron, but it couldn’t be that bad. Could it?

Obi-Wan’s quiet voice broke her out of her thoughts. “The best way to investigate anything is to talk to the locals. Their daily experiences are often a key piece to an outsider’s puzzle.”

The two Jedi approached the woman. She was petite, smaller than Ashoka, with strands of dark hair coming out of her long braid. She looked just as worn as the children, but tried to hide it. Ahsoka felt tired just from looking at her. The woman’s grip on the basket was slipping.

“Excuse me, miss.”

Startled from the new voice, the woman dropped her basket. The clothing scattered on the ground.

“Let us help.” Ahsoka and Obi-Wan rushed to help her pick up the clothing.

“Thank you.” the woman replied. She looked at the Jedi with suspicion. Her eyes widened when she noticed the lightsabers hanging on their belts. “Jedi?” she asked incredulously, “Who sent you here?”

“We were sent by the Governor to engage in peace talks with some insurgents in the area. We wanted to explore Theron’s beautiful capital.” said Obi-Wan.

Ahsoka watched the woman’s eyes narrow slightly at the mention of Rankin. As she picked up the clothes, she noticed something cold nestled in a sock. Peeking inside, she saw small metal pieces from what could be for pistols. But before Ahsoka could investigate further, the woman snatched the sock out of her hands.

“Thank you for the help, Jedi. I hope you enjoy your time on Theron.” with a quick nod, the woman collected the rest of her basket and headed towards the clothesline.

Ahsoka and Obi-wan looked at each other. There was more to this assignment than met the eye.

______________________

Returning back to the capital square was like receiving a slap in the face. It had only been a few hours, but the square had doubled in traffic. Landspeeders and shuttles had joined the fray, ferrying excited tourists and exhausted locals to their destinations.

Upon their return to the square, Ahsoka purchased a (well-earned) green milk for herself and a mug of tea for Master Kenobi. Turning around, she found him sitting on a nearby bench, watching the world pass by. Ahsoka could see the gears turning in his mind. He’d never admit it, but he was such a workaholic.

She sat down next to him, taking a sip of her sweet milk. “Tired already, Master?” she teased, passing him his tea. “If only you were as small as Master Yoda, then I would carry you on my back.”

Obi-Wan gave her a look. “My dear Padawan. Anakin has taught you well, but he hasn’t taught you the art of patience and stopping.” He sipped his tea and raised an eyebrow. “Sometimes you need to stop moving and assess the game board before you do your next move. Haven’t you learned anything from our sabacc tournaments? Now, what are your thoughts on the matter at hand?”

Ahsoka tried to respond, but everything became fuzzy. She heard a muffled Obi-Wan call her name before it all went black.

Obi-Wan tried to shake a now slumped Ahsoka awake, before he too noticed things were becoming a lot fuzzier. Trying to fight it, Obi-Wan attempted to stand up, but everything went black before he hit the ground.


	5. Big Reveals (and Roofies) Give Obi-Wan Kenobi A Massive Migraine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am back from the dead! Sorry to leave everyone on a cliffhanger like that. I hope I can make it up to you all by getting more chapters written soon! Thank you for being so patient!

Obi-Wan Kenobi woke to a bright light searing his eyes. He groaned, squinting into the light. He felt a dull throbbing pain creeping into his head. Obi-Wan was used to headaches (Anakin being the leading cause of them), but when his Padawan wasn’t the cause it was typically an indicator of something bad happening. However, Obi-Wan couldn’t decide if the cause was from the poison in his and Ahsoka’s drinks or from something far more sinister. 

Ignoring the pain, he reached into the Force, first assessing his body. He found no injuries, but felt his hands were bound behind his back and his feet were secured to the chair. Satisfied, Obi-Wan surveyed his surroundings and saw that on his left side, Ahsoka was bound in another seat and slumped, unconscious. On his right, he saw another figure tied to a chair. Its presence was very familiar. Peering into the darkness as best as he could, he realized it was a bound and gagged Anakin! Seeing Obi-Wan was awake and looking at him, he attempted to  _ wave _ . 

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.  _ So much for calling Anakin for backup. How the blazes did he get here?  _

Before Obi-Wan could reach their Force bond and figure what happened, two figures entered the room. The first figure was taller, and slim. The second was far more petite and seemed to be floating as they approached. There was something about the second figure that felt familiar. The figure had hair that appeared to float around her face. But be it the incoming migraine or the drugs, Obi-Wan couldn’t quite place the familiarity. To his right, Obi-Wan sensed Anakin moving slightly in recognition..  _ Did he know this person?  _

The taller figure moved into the light. He was a male with light green skin. His left arm was in a sling. A wide brimmed cap was pulled low over his face, but it didn’t hide his glowing eyes. His presence was tinged with anger. 

After giving Obi-Wan a onceover, the figure smirked and spoke with a raspy voice: “Well, it looks like someone has finally decided to join us this evening.”

“I do apologize, but I am typically more well-behaved when I know just whom I am speaking to.”

“I am Tav Sekka, leader of the insurgents on Theron,” he replied, “And you, Jedi are not my prisoner, but my guest.”

Obi-Wan looked around. “You have a funny way of treating guests. I hope this isn’t typical Theronese custom.” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Anakin roll his eyes. He knew what he was thinking:  _ Leave it to Obi-Wan Kenobi to somehow find enjoyment bantering with a possibly homicidal kidnapper.  _ But he couldn’t help it. Bantering with dangerous people was like a lightsaber battle in its own right. Each word could mean the difference between life and death. Why shouldn’t he enjoy it? 

Tav Sekka was clearly enjoying this game as well. “The restraints are just a precaution. I’ve heard the stories of the Jedi. They claim to be keepers of the peace, but look for any excuse to use their saber. I have my reservations about you Jedi. But alas, we need your help.”

“We already are helping. We will be facilitating your peace talks on the final race day.”

Sekka spat onto the dusty ground in disgust. “Bah! The peace talks are a sham. The governor is a corrupt fool who steals our livelihood and puts it in the hands of the Separatists to pad her own pocket!”

_ Separatists? This far in the Outer Rim?  _ The pounding in Obi-Wan’s head got even worse. Some people felt their stomach turn when something was wrong. Obi-Wan had migraines. It definitely wasn’t the drugs. The Force prickled with unease. Time to dig deeper. 

“I wasn’t aware the Separatists had any aims on this planet.” he ventured. “What do they want with a small planet like Theron?”

Tav Sekka barked a laugh. “You don’t know much for a Jedi. Theron is the source of a rare ore that is a key component to making the barrels for a new kind of blaster. I used to be a mine worker myself, until about six months ago. It was then I found out our fearless leader Rankin was looking into deals with the Separatists. I’ve seen the videos on the HoloNet. Heard the stories from passing pilots. The Separatists have destroyed so many worlds, families. I couldn’t help weaponize something like that. Especially something that goes into the pockets of someone like Rankin. The citizens of Theron will never see that money.”

“You were the ones who bombed the mines,” Obi-Wan said, beginning to put the pieces together. 

Tav Sekka nodded. “What else could I do? If the fruits of Theron’s labor cannot go back to the people of Theron, then no one else can have it. I was able to assemble a small group of coworkers and friends to join me.” He looked proud. “We’ve assembled quite the underground network here. My wife Junta is my second-in-command and advisor. She has a proposition for you.”

At the mention of her name, the woman walked into the light.  _ Of kriffing course _ , Obi-Wan thought dumbly,  _ it was the woman with the laundry. The Force works in mysterious ways.  _ The woman walked with the confidence of a general. Her piercing green eyes seemed to bore into the Jedi. 

Of course Anakin picked now to wrestle out of his gag. “I know you! You’re the woman who so-” Anakin interjected, but stopped just as quickly turning red.

The pounding in Obi-Wan’s head increased in intensity, blossoming from the back of his head to the entirety of his head. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and mentally counted to ten, trying to dampen the fire in his mind. Everything seemed to somehow involve Anakin Skywalker in some way, shape or form. 

Junta smirked at him. “Yes. Yes I am. Here is our plan. We would like to have one of you Jedi working in the podrace, while the others help us stage a coup. These peace talks are nothing but an excuse to draw us out, to kill us. But the Tournament will be the perfect distraction for us to dispose of Rankin. She won’t even see us coming.” 

“I’m sorry, but we don’t help terrorists.” Obi-Wan interjected.

She turned to face him. “I think the term you’re looking for is “rebels”, Master Jedi. We don’t hurt civilians. Just the government who doesn’t protect its civilians.” 

“Let’s hear her out, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said. “We have to help others in need. Maybe we can get a lead on Separatist activity for the Republic? Be heroes?”

Obi-Wan suppressed a groan. He couldn’t tell if it was from the pain or from Anakin’s argument. Either way, he was right. The war made the Jedi forget their true purpose. They were peacekeepers: agents who were tasked with helping the galaxy. If they could help these rebels save their planet from falling into the hands of Separatists and get a lead on their activity, then it would be a productive mission indeed. 

“How will you get one of us to work in the pod race? Jedi aren’t known for being very subtle.”

“That’s what we’re counting on,” Junta replied. “If a Jedi made their presence known at the Five Sabers Tournament, then all attention would be focused on the race, leaving us free to do our plan. And you aren’t going to work at the race. You’re going to race.” Seeing Obi-Wan’s eyes widen, she continued: “The Jedi have good reflexes correct? And you have the only human winner of the Boonta Eve pod race amongst your company.” 

“We don’t have a pod. We can’t just enter a race! There has to be another way to help you.”

She shook her head, as Tav Sekka spoke again. “Don’t worry about it. I think your friend has got everything covered on that end.”

Obi-Wan felt another wave of nausea overtake him. “Anakin. What does she mean by that?”

Anakin barely looked in his master’s eye. He mumbled, but Obi-Wan heard every word as clear as a bell: “I traded our ship for a podrace.”

“YOU WHAT??” The migraine burst in his mind like a dying star. Everything was hot with pain. His eyes rolled into his head and for the second time that day, the great General Kenobi once again passed out. 

It was at that moment Ahsoka Tano came out of unconsciousness. Seeing the scene before her she asked, “What did I miss?”


End file.
